Christmas Etiquette TIPS…
Christmas is that time of the year where we come together as friends and families to celebrate the year past and look forward to the year ahead.
Christmas is almost upon us and with it many family gatherings, feasts and fun events.
It’s also a great time to focus on etiquette, help your child look as polished as the ornaments on the tree with Etiquette Expert Susie Wilson – Christmas etiquette tips.
THE PRESENT OPENING
This can be a two minute whirlwind of ripped wrapping paper and shrieks of joy, or it can be a more civilised affair. The polite way to open presents is to do so one at a time, with attention paid to each gift and a thank you delivered each time. But that can be easier said than done.
Here’s how to help your kid’s do Christmas day the polite way.
Talk about it beforehand. Before the big day have a powwow with the kids. I suggest something along the lines of “Christmas morning last year got really crazy, so let’s see if we can do it a different way. Let’s think of a way we can do that.” That way the child is engaged in the gift opening procedure and has a bit of ownership about it. If they feel they are a part of the new rule system, they’re more likely to follow it.
Develop a pattern. Have present opening occur in a clockwise manner or by age so that everyone knows when their turn is. Stick to the order too.
Have the children involved in picking presents. Instead of having the children pick the present they want to open, have them pick something from under the tree for mum or dad to unwrap.
Stay engaged in the process. Feel free to prompt the kids along to pick out a gift or to pay attention as their sibling opens theirs.
Use positive reinforcement. Once so and so has opened their present (preferably in a manner that does not resemble the Hulk), let them know how good they were at doing that.
Do Christmas stockings before the big present opening.
THE BIG MEAL
At some point during the holiday season, there will be a big sit-down meal. This can be a moment where your child can shine or really, really falter. Here’s some basic tips on how to civilise your child in time for the big day.
Practice, practice, practice. “You would not send a 6-year-old to play in a soccer tournament without them having practiced with some of the skills of playing soccer,” “Well, I think of the holiday dinner like that. It’s the tournament of mealtime.” So have your child practice their manners at home, before they’re unleashed at the Christmas feast.
Pick three manners to focus on. I recommend having a few dinners before the holiday meal in which you focus on a few specific manners rules — such as chewing with the mouth closed, using the correct silverware or asking for things to be passed rather than reaching for them. Focusing on a few specific manners will help your child absorb the information better rather than throwing it at them all at once.
Solve the chewing problem. It’s one of the biggest eating faux pas chewing with your mouth open. And children love to do it. I suggest fixing that by using these tactics:
1. Describe eating as a gross activity. “Children really don’t like to be gross,” “Well, maybe with their friends. But generally speaking, children like to be liked and to be attractive.”
2. Put a mirror in front of them so they can see exactly what they look like when they chew with their mouth open.
Establish why manners are important. “[Manners] really are either to keep us from grossing each other out at the table or to keep us from embarrassing ourselves,” “The big thing I found with teaching children manners is trying to make it relevant, showing them how it fits into their lives,”.
Keep at it. It can take awhile before rules sink in so prepare for a long haul of a battle. Feel free to start small, but just stay on message and repeat the rules.
Use the golden rule. Sometimes kids need additional prodding to realize why they should use manners. I recommend doing a bit of role play in which you talk to your child about how they feel when people do or don’t do something, like saying thank you. Once they realise that they feel bad when people don’t thank them for something, they’ll then see the importance in saying thank you so others don’t feel the same way. It’s the whole ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ thing.
(The biggest do’s and don’ts of table manners for children)
The presents have been opened and the family has gorged itself on a Christmas turkey or ham. Now comes the time for thank you notes.
“Thank you notes are a big issue,”With that in mind, here are the rules for gratitude.
Notes are unnecessary if you thank someone in person. “If the thank you’s are given personally and with some sense of enthusiasm, that’s the nicest thank you of all,”
The jury is out on Skype thank you’s . Let’s say you Skyped Grandma in on Christmas Day to watch your child open a present, and then had your kid say thank you on camera. While that could count as an in person thank you, I suggest writing a thank you note as well. “It doesn’t hurt to write a thank you note anyway,” she said. I suggest including something like ‘It was so much fun to have you with us on Skype’ in the note.
You must send one in all other cases and soon. “One of the things I suggest to parents is that they establish a pattern, a tradition, a routine of doing thank you notes two days after Christmas,”That goes for parents too. Have the entire family sit down for one giant than you note writing affair.
Get young children involved. If little Susie is too young to write, do the thank you note for her. But keep her involved. “Ask them what their favourite thing about the gift was and then you write that,” Then turn the card over to the child to decorate.
Keep it short, sweet and to the point. Thank you notes don’t have to be long winded affairs. “People only need to write a couple sentences,”. “It’s literally a note expressing appreciation for a gift received.”
Give the gift of stationery. Need help on getting your kids excited about thank you notes? Have one of their presents be a cute, funky stationery set. That way you are giving them an opportunity to use something new it’ll help you generate a bit of enthusiasm.
Put in a photo. Snap a shot of the child with the present to include in the thank you note. “It’s a really nice way”